February 1, 2010
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Interlude
On October 2, 2006 Charles Roberts shot and killed 5 school girls, wounded others and then took his own life in a one room school house in the Old Order Amish community of Nickel Mines in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania. That’s the short of it. However, the long of it is far more complicated than that. What struck us, the society at large, most was the reaction of the people of the Nickel Mines. Forgiveness is as a much a part of the daily life of these Old Order Amish as breathing. Many, indeed most of us wondered how they could forgive a crime of such violence and magnitude. The media, of course, had a feeding frenzy. Pundits felt compelled to comment either positively or negatively on the “healthiness” of this forgiveness.
The book Amish Grace:How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy (Kraybill, Nolt, Weaver-Zercher, John Wiley and Sons, 2007) “explores the many questions the story raises about the religious beliefs that led the Amish to forgive so quickly. In a world where religion spawns so much violence and vengeance, the surprising act of Amish forgiveness begs for deeper consideration.” Forgiveness seems easy on the surface, but it isn’t. I wrestle with it in my daily life. Especially now. There are moments when I find the peace that comes with forgiveness and slowly but surely they come closer together than they used to. This book was not a quick read for me. I picked it up, read a few pages, and then put it down as I absorbed the words, their meanings and implications. There are lessons here although they are not meant to be lessons but rather explanations of one community’s, one culture’s response to tragedy. This is a community in which “presence” and “being present” are tangible activities. They are not meant to “fix things” because indeed there is no fixing. This is a community that does not publicly tear its hair or rend its garments but instead goes about daily life and finds peace in the routine of that and comfort in the very definition that is community.
I don’t buy many books. I only buy the ones I want to write in and read over again. I won’t return this one to the library until I have my own copy. There is much here to think about. How different would life look if we forgave rather than sought vengeance? How would it look if we did not seek retribution? How would it look if we hoped without expectations? What is justice and how should it be made manifest? The answers for the Amish lie in their faith and their community and their Ordnung. That is their way. And for someone, who like me, is seeking, this volume illuminates a path, shows where the boulders are and invites me to find my own way around them.
Comments (7)
I’ll have to put this one on my list.
Generally speaking I believe that forgivness is the key to a peaceful mind. It is not always easy of course.
I spent most of my life in a religious community, where I learned to stay present and look to live in harmony with others. It can be done. However in this case the leader abused his power,so in time the group fell apart and I learned from that as well. It took me awhile to forgive him. I had to realize that he was just a human being like everyone else, not the spiritual example he had professed to be all those years. I had to overcome the resentment I had allowed myself to be taken advantage of.
I had to forgive my first husband, who was a batterer, and this took years. I thought it was up to him to ask to be forgiven, but it was up to me to let go of the negativity and move on. I then, over the years, gained some insight so that I could heal.
Certainly life is not black and white. There are intricate dynamics of any given situation. If people would learn not to judge and hate each other the world would be in much better shape.
thanks for the review – requested from library (1 of 1 so I should get it in a couple of days)
This was a good gift to read first thing in the week, thank you.
I remember reading of the tragedy here and just like you said, pundits were apt to judge the Amish community for their reaction. And that struck me as a clear marker of people who have had no curiosity or experience with the Amish. And I felt defensive about them, for them. I want to look at that book.
I haven’t done a ton of online looking, but I have had chance to encounter Amish people several times a year as I am sure you have. When ever I travel to see my parents, or go to Jamie’s Flea Market in the summer I see them and rarely, but sometimes there are little conversations. This caused me long ago to look into the mysterious. Around here we have a spectrum of what some might consider odd sects. Mennonite, Amish, those who’ve left both but still adhere to many tenets, their children. One friend from grade school was the child of a man who had left a Mennonite community and her mother was a second generation out of and Amish community. They made sure their children were exposed to both cultures as went out of their way to offer that opportunity to others. Since my dad was a blacksmith for fun something her father viewed and practiced as a valuable & highly respected profession, our two fathers linked up and we had some pretty unique chances to experience different cultures within our own. Still don’t like goat’s milk though. Not for drinking anyway. ha! Don’t know if the Amish around here drink it, but I am guessing they do given the satellite photos of some of the yards have goats in them. (Some of the houses are blocked out though, or they have perfectly square white roofs. I prefer to think that Google maps people chose to respect them.)
Sorry to have rambled. But there are always a few things about the Amish in particular that make my heart light. They are steadfast and the response I read about the tragedy seemed in keeping with the tone I’d gathered. IMO they are a tough ass bunch. I often picture them as being the only survivors of a magnetic pole switch or some other natural disaster. It takes a great deal of fortitude to be able to forgive, but so far as I can tell, they are made of even more solid stuff than that. Not to stereotype, just based on my limited interactions.
I don’t like to look for them to go gawking or anything, but it is a treat to buy things they make roadside. It is like going to a foreign country where the people speak the same language as you do and make the best dinner rolls the world has ever known.
If you want to make a road trip sometimes this summer, we ought to head out that way. I wrote a post about baskets for the new years and the shop is frequented by the nearby Amish folks both to buy and sell things. The schedule is simple, a weekday when the sun shines and it isn’t too cold. Ha!
I know this was about forgiveness and I apologize again for rambling. It made me think that you might enjoy a trip out that way. They sell this candy that looks very interesting. It is on my list to try the next time through.
Thanks for the recommendation! Thanks for your comment! God bless (The origin of “Good bye” was a contraction of “God be with you.” So why not use “God bless!”) ~ Pete
“Since you were precious in My sight, you have been honored, and I have loved you…” Isaiah 43:4 (ref. my post of 1/24/2010 AD)
@Boowasborn - Yes to a road trip this summer. I have lighten the summer reading load and may actually be able to do things when my teacher friends do!
So many view forgiveness as a weakness yet it truly takes far more fortitude to forgive someone who has done you wrong than to retaliate. However, facing the same situation that these individuals did I think it might be near impossible to forgive. Apparently I should read this book.